Ask the Akibarangers!

[troydenite]

"Oh my God! This place is aweeeesome! We must have got into a Hyper Battle Video! Question time... KITAAAAAAAA!"

Arms flailing wildly, Akagi Nobuo ran into the decorated space, before taking the red swivel chair in the middle and spinning around in a hyperactive blur, finally coming to a gradual and rather dizzy halt.

"...I don't even know why I did that," he wobbled. It was almost an aside.

A sigh. "Do we really have to do this, old man?" Walking onscreen, a schoolgirl with neat black hair leaned against her own seat, looking less than amused.

The delivery man raised a shaky finger, turning in the completely opposite direction and addressing his disorientated comments to the air. "Of course we do, Blue! It's for the fans and money woah where'd the ceiling go -"

Aoyagi Mitsuki was getting ready to smack him in the forehead when the excited cry rang out. "Oh! An audience!"

Tripping onscreen, a yellow-wigged, twenty-something girl ran excitedly in front of her own chair, dressed in the standard attire of a nekomimi cosplayer. White eared headband, white-pink paws, pink ribbon, white tail... a lot of white and pink, basically. And yellow.

"Hello! My name's Moegi Yumeria, nyan~! Treat me well, nyan~!"Standard nekomimi-ish poses followed.

As usual, Akagi ignored his sadly obsessed teammate, moving on to his completely normal and totally acceptable addiction.

"Anyway... we are the Unofficial Squadron, AKIBARANGER! And we're here to answer your questions!"

He had thrown both arms out wide at this proclamation. It might have been more impressive if he didn't have his back to the audience.

[Rain]

Who the fuck are you and can you go away?

[dblade26]

Dollstop walked into the room and pulled out a cue card

"Ahem. 'With the pre-established presence of every single sentai team in existence in every form of media, including parodies like the prism rangers not to mention mashups that are present in the Feudal traverse world, Kamen Riders, original ranger teams like the Cyber Rangers and other Tokusatsu-style heroes, what will you as a team do to make yourselves more interesting and watchable for children like me that supposedly make up your target viewing audience?' "

[troydenite]

"..."

Akagi gaped. So, for that matter, did the other two. "Um... are we even aimed at children?"

Mitsuki placed a finger to her chin. "Don't know. Some of our stuff seems too heavy for kids..."

"Um... don't really bother about it, nyan~! Watch one of the official Sentai, nyan~!" The three paused, seemingly satisfied with this whirlwind of answers - then Akagi began rattling off again.

"Then again, if you wanted to, you could always buy our merchandi -"

"We have no merchandise, old man."

"What? No, I'm sure there has to be some merchandise somewhere! We have our own show, don't we? Hey, kid, have you seen any of our merchandise?"

"What's a Kamen Rider?"

[dblade26]

"hmm...washed-up odd-jobber, only sane character desperately struggling to stop shenanigans and weird barely human girl with odd speech patterns." He pointed to each of them as he listed

"You're basically the cast of G*ntama given slightly different characteristics and Sentai powers. So, I've decided that it means you might be funny and surprisingly competent in serious situations. Or get cancelled halfway through an attempted re-boot."

[troydenite]

“Ooh! He likes my cosplay, nyan~! Isn’t that cute, nyan~?”

“…Odd jobber?” Akagi gaped. Again.

“Well, at least you know there’s one sane person in the room…” Mitsuki sighed.

Sadly, Akagi didn’t seem to hear her, continuing on in whatever tangent he had got himself onto this time with ridiculously despairing and overly dramatic hand gestures.

“S-Sentai heroes can’t be expies... not even unofficial ones! How are we expies of things the writers didn’t even bother to put in the show? It’s called a cameo, Saburo! A cameo! Think of the children!” He seemed to be addressing the air again. What children had to do with a show apparently aimed at adults, no-one knew.

“Old man...“

“Bicycle delivery is an immensely important job, anyway! I’m not washed up, I just happen to bankrupt myself with all the merchandise I buy! But what’s wrong with that, huh? What’s wrong with that? Toei needs my money!”

“Old man, he said we were competen –“

“I don’t even know what G*ntama is! How does any of this even work?”

“...Wait, reboot? ”

Mitsuki sighed again, pressing a hand to her forehead in exasperation. “I give up.”

“Akagi-san doesn’t really seem to be on the ball today, nyan…” Yumeria agreed, pressing her ‘paws’ together and tilting her head slightly, an expression of childlike concern written across her face. “He’s normally a lot more secure about his job, nyan…”

“Yeah,” Mitsuki muttered, beginning the first part of a leg stretch on her chair. “Everything else seems about right, though.”

It was like they had both decided to resign themselves to the inevitable.

Turning slowly, Akagi gazed at Dollstop for a long while, jaw practically touching the floor. There was a mix of horror and disbelief in his eyes – which also happened to be so comically overdrawn as to be completely impossible to take seriously.

“....This isn’t our second season?”

[Psyga315]

"ZOMG!! AKIBARANGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!!!" Nicholas said as he entered the fray. "OH MAN! You guys were funny! I mean, you're the kind of comedy Toei needs in their Sentai. I mean... Yeah, I'd fangasm with any recent Sentai hero... or a Power Ranger... but yeah, this is so exciting!!"

[troydenite]

"Oh! A fan, nyan~! Hello, random person-san!" Yumeria clapped her hands excitedly, bouncing up and down.

"...I don't believe it. People actually watch our show?"

"Oh my God I have fans I mean YOU THERE! Akagi practically fell out of his chair, scrabbling at Nicholas's feet.

"Is this really not our second season? Has Toei lied to us? Or are you just another actor? Please tell me you're an actor!"

Yumeria frowned sadly, and dipped her head slightly. "But if he's an actor, then that means we don't actually have any fans, nyan..."

Akagi ignored her. As usual.

[EldritchMermaid]

"Please tell me we're not going to have to start acting like that."

[troydenite]

Mitsuki rubbed her forehead. "No. They're just crazy."

[Psyga315]

"You are right... this is a second season... but not yours..." Said a voice. The Akibarangers and several other people would then notice the doors opening as smoke came in. A strange figure stepped in. The figure looked exactly like Nicholas, though he was dressed up as Gendo Ikari, complete with the shades and beard.

"This is our second season you're stepping into. My name is Psyga315, and welcome to the JTTM RP forum."

[dblade26]

August soon hit Psyga with a giant mallet from nowhere.

"Don't go thinking that being meta makes you cool, Dummy315. Even if the Fourth Wall is waaay thinner in these ask threads. Hmph!"

[EldritchMermaid]

"Don't make me separate you two."

[troydenite]

Akagi gaped, looking between the newcomer and Nicholas. Slowly, he scrabbled back up, hitting the chair behind him, while the other two looked around in nonplussed confusion.

"My... my God." He was glancing around at the empty air in a mix of horror and amazement.

"It's... it's full of text."

"What?"

"Eh?"