Ask Lazarus (and Steve)

[Flanker]

As the music played over the channel slowly faded out (its' quality rendered somewhat degraded by the sheer distance travelled by the signal, as well as the transmission method), a voice spoke.

"Ah... nothing like the classics..." It was a male, American accented voice, though it was hard to tell which state the man came from. He sounded as though he was middle aged. "Anyway, let's get this show on the road. Greetings, followers, I'm talking to you from a very special place - the Multiverse."

"'Oh, but that's impossible! We all know the Multiverse is just a theory!'" The man adopted a slightly higher pitched tone, presumably playing the part of his unseen audience. "Well, let me just tell you right now that it does exist, and I'm talking to you from there this very second. I won't bore you with how I got here, truthseekers - it'd get in the way of what I'm really here to do, anyway."

"For those of you who are just tuning in, let me introduce myself. You can call me Lazarus, the voice of truth. I'm going to give you an idea of what's really going on around here, with a little help from my homeboy Steve. Say hi, Steve!" There was a silence for several seconds. "Don't mind him. He's a little shy. Since he's handy with a computer, he'll be my main source of information... unless, of course, one of you decide to tip me off to something."

"So, welcome! We probably won't answer too many personal questions - I don't want to be tracked down and shot by some shadowy group's fucking death squad, after all - but if you want to get the scoop on what's happening in the multiverse at large, we're your men," continued Lazarus, seeming rather enthusiastic (though his tone harshened as he mentioned the death squad). "But don't worry, I'm not like some tinfoil hat wearing whackjobs who end up discrediting those of us who're actually trying to figure out the goddamn truth without letting some sort of bullshit get in the way. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but I won't let things get too out of hand. Don't be shy, ask away!"

Silence fell over the transmission once more, presumably because Lazarus was waiting for someone to start things off.

[Rain]

"What can you tell us that we don't already know?"

[Flanker]

"Unless we get lucky, it's unlikely that we're going to get the freshest information. Steve here can only work so fast, and he's still getting used to the way things operate around here. But we're not a freaking news service, we're trying to get people to open their eyes and think critically for once!" Lazarus stopped talking for a second or two. "To put it simply, if you just allow yourself to be forcefed the fucking official line, you're never going to get the full story!"

Before he could launch into a full blown rant, however, something gave the man pause. "...Don't worry Steve, I'll try to tone things down. But no guarantees."