No! This can't be Canon! SABURO!!!

[troydenite]

Okay, so this is a non-canon mini-RP, mainly for the purpose of experimentation and practice with my character – so feel free to enter and mess with our resident Wrong Genre Savvy Guy’s head. It takes place (for the lack of a better place to take place) on the Ha’tak, in no particular timeframe – for reasons mainly related to my own ineptitude at thinking up better locations.

Here we go!

---

On a certain ship moving through a certain area of the multiverse, a cry rang out. It was not a cry of pain, nor was it a cry of anger – no, it was a scream of complete and utter despair, comically overdrawn to the point of self-parody.

“SABUROOOOOOOOO!”

The voice (seemingly emanating from someplace inside one of the supply rooms) rang throughout all of the immaculately polished vicinity, punctuated only by several loud crashes – then an especially loud bang cut it short, and the door burst open to release a cascade of various medical supplies, accompanied by a single black-haired, red-jacketed figure, who crashed to the floor in a sprawling, groaning heap, white scarf flapping sadly beneath the first-aid kit currently on his head.

“Ow… ow … ow….”

The owl logo on the back of his jacket didn't speak for much. S.P.D ... Sasaki Ponpoko Delivery, it said. There really wasn't much else of him to see.

[Krautman]

Murray dropped from the ceiling in Cyber-Ranger form.

"So what's the screaming about?"

[Flanker]

Flanker heard the commotion. He wasn't sure who or what was responsible, but he definitely didn't want yet another person or group stepping on board the Ha'tak without permission. The megaman wasn't quite ready to treat it as something dangerous yet, though, and so he only kept one of his Biometals - Model X - ready in his hand rather than transforming.

Weaving his way through the corridors, it wasn't long until he came across a young man who had apparently gotten into a fight with the ship's medical supplies and lost. Suppressing his amusement at the situation, he leaned down next to the figure. "Hey, who're you?"

[Addy]

Oleg strolled to the situation from another hallway, cloak billowing behind him on the move.

"What's the commotion?"

[EldritchMermaid]

Jenny heard the crash from half way down the hall. She'd been on her way down to check inventory in the supply locker, sort out restocking the medical bay and if needs be get a list for the next resupply stop. She broke into a run as soon as it reached her.

Skidding to a stop, her trainers almost failing to grip the polished marble floor, she looked at the scene in front of her.

"All right, what happened this time?"

[troydenite]

Head ringing, Akagi Nobuo, age 29, looked up and blearily surveyed the assorted beings around him. It only took him half a minute to realize what the appropriate response was.

Balk.

“EHHHHHHH? What… what the hell?” As he frantically scrambled up against the wall, the open white box on his head slid off and fell to the floor with a thump, coating him in a light shower of wrapped band-aids. His expression was somewhere between ‘horrified’ and ‘not exactly sure what the heck is happening.’

“This… this can’t be our second season!” he spluttered. “Who the heck are you guys? Where’s the villain reveal? There was supposed to be a villain reveal! Toei would never let the first episode air without a villain reveal! How are they supposed to sell merchandise? Where am I supposed to get the merchandise???” Hands shaking in panic, the man clutched them to his head, looking incredibly forlorn (however he supposed to get the merchandise of what was apparently his own show, no-one knew) –then his gaze alighted on Murray, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“You’re…” His expression froze. Displaying an astonishing lack of any sense of personal space whatsoever, Akagi got to his feet and walked straight up to the Ranger, pointing his finger straight at the robot’s plastic helmet in an unnervingly serious way. “One.”

Each of the assembled got the same treatment. “Two. Three. Four.” He stopped at Flanker, eying the angular, blue device in his hand with a sideways glance, and turned back, hand on his chin, seemingly mulling over the information in the same, deadpan manner – then he spun around, hands grasping aimlessly at the air and face distorted into a mask of absolute despair.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This can’t be! You’re the next Sentai! With four members! They actually made a Sentai with four starting members!”

Turning around, the man slammed his head straight into the wall, before slowly sliding down and curling into a small ball at the base of it.

“Saburo, what have you done?” he wailed. “My friend, why? Why have you sold your soul to the devil???”

His hands spread out in an overdramatic gesture, and he fell backwards, flopping out spread-eagled on the cold, polished floor and continuing his broken admonishments all the while. “To think you would go to such low depths… why have you decided to ruin everything?"

"They’re not even color-coded…”

[EldritchMermaid]

Jenny sighed, and retrieved a small vial from the supplies strewn all over the floor, slotting it into a vaguely cylindrical silver-grey object. She tapped two buttons on the head of the device, and pressed it to the base of Nobuo's neck, using the larger button to deliver the sedative inside straight into his carotid artery.

"Somehow I doubt we were going to get anything straight out of him for a while anyway."

[Krautman]

"Um... actually, they're not on the team. It's me as Red, Pharaoh Man as Yellow, Alita as Green, Nove as Pink, Data as Black, Ropponmatsu as Blue, and some cyborg as Orange. We're still waiting for our giant robot, anyway."

[Psyga315]

Nicholas ran down to see what the hell was going on with the freaky man, and then saw who it was.

"Oh. My. F-... SQUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Nicholas said as he ran to Nobuo. "I... I can't believe it! Nobou Akagi! In our Ha'tak! OMIGOSHOMIGOSHOMIGOSH!" Nicholas said, bouncing across the room like he consumed a ton of sugar.

[troydenite]

The man only made several pathetically listless whimpers as the sedative entered his bloodstream. “Go ahead… kill me… the world isn’t worth living in anyway… Saburooooooo….”

Then his head hit the floor with a dull thunk. Unfortunately, this meant that none of the other’s reactions actually registered.

“Sakaya-saaaaan…” he groaned, half-deliriously.

[Psyga315]

"Woah, woah, woah, dude! He was just freaking out! Dude!" Nicholas said. He then lifted Nobuo and carried him to the medbay.

[EldritchMermaid]

"He's not dead. Besides, it was either that or risk him injuring himself or someone else."

[troydenite]

She was running towards him. Sakaya, prettier than even the Mermaid who bore her name, the smile on her face more enticing than even a mint-fresh copy of the original Shuttlebase. Valiantly, with his white scarf blowing heroically in the wind on top of the hillock, he stood against the sunset, defying the hard ground beneath his feet, daring the day to end without his permission -

It didn't. Even time bent over backwards to please his awesomeness.

In the manliest way possible, the delivery man caught the girl in his arms and instantly lowered her into a flawless, chest-burstingly romantic bridal carry, bathed in the light of the orange sun. But his chest did not burst with the romance, nor did hers, for he was filled with far too much seething machismo for that ever to happen, and she was far too enthralled with his mere presence to do anything of the sort.

Sakaya looked up at him with those big, watery eyes of hers, filled with nothing but admiration and love for her only true flame. "Akagi..."

Of course, he was far too suave to be overcome with emotion at this point, and instead fixed her with a look that oozed manliness from every inch of its abstract, technically non-existent presence. "Sakaya..." he mumured, in that extra-sexy baritone that all women found so irresistible. The girl turned to jelly at once, of course, melting in that charming, Sakaya way that only she could ever do.

“Let’s run away, Sakaya,” he continued, assured of nothing but absolute victory. “You and me, together, on the beach… forever…” And with that, he leaned down to plant a kiss on her perfect lips…

---

“Sayaka-san… mmph… come with me, my one and only love…” Halfway through his incredibly awkward mutterings, Akagi opened his eyes, and realized (after about ten seconds) that several things were rather… different. For one thing, he wasn’t on a hill, and there was no sunset. He was sitting up on a white bed, and there was nothing but the glare of a harsh, fluorescent light above him. Secondly, it wasn’t Sakaya he was currently pressed up against, with their lips almost touching and bodies in rather uncomfortable contact with each other.

To quite the contrary, it was Nicholas.

[stratofarius]

Roy slowly lowered the report he was reading as he watched the situation between the man and Nicholas. He slowly leaned over to Jenny. "So..." he whispered. "Who exactly is this guy and why is he trying to kiss my subordinate?"

[Addy]

"Roy? What're you doing here?" asked Oleg, pointing to the huge, obvious and glowing sign saying "MEDBAY".

[stratofarius]

"I've been here since the beginning." He answered, pointing with his thumb at Toph, who was sitting on one of the beds with her arms crossed.

"I keep telling him it's just a scratch--"

"Shhh! You need to rest." Roy turned back to Oleg. "I repeat my last question."

[Krautman]

Murray waved to Akagi, still in ranger form.

"Hi there! I'm Murray. I'm here to put to rest any concerns about the Cyber-Rangers. Those guys weren't members, so don't worry about that. I'm Cyber-Red, Pharaoh Man is Cyber-Yellow, Alita is Cyber-Green, Nove is Cyber-Pink, and Abel is Cyber-Orange. See? We've got five members. We've still got room for a Cyber-Blue and Cyber-Indigo."

[EldritchMermaid]

"Honestly? I have no clue. I found him in one of the supply lockers having a mental breakdown."

[Addy]

"Well by the looks of it he's from some comedy series and is now executing Wacky Hijinks Cliche #1531."
Oleg grabbed Akagi by his collar and dragged him away from Nicholas.

"I hate[/i] wacky hijinks."

[Psyga315]

"Nnnnnnngh!" Nicholas tried to lightly push Akagi off him, blushing at the embarrassment.